It's ironic that I decided to start this blog yesterday, simply because I did an interpreting exam that went well. It's ironic that I thought I had done some interpreting properly for the first time in my life.
It just seems I was wrong. I didn't fail. No, I didn't. But my mark wasn't good at all, and this makes me think about my future. I told you yesterday that I wanted to become an interpreter. But do I REALLY want that? I mean: do I really want to be depressed the next whole academic year (and the rest of my life) because I am not good enough at what I like best?
I know I am too pessimistic, but I can't help it. They say that people that study this are always very competitive and perfectionist. I am not an exception. I know I am not "the best" and I don't like that. But I don't know what else I can do to change that. I am not good at this and I have to get over it.
So... now what? I'm going to see my interpreting teacher in an hour or so, and she'll probably tell me that I shouldn't choose the interpreting itinerary next year if I don't want to fail miserably. Or not: she might try to cheer me up, because she's nice. But I'm not silly and I know my limits. And my limits are probably here.
Ok, actually, yesterday there were two possible entries for this blog today. Here you are, this is the bad one. The other one was just a stupid dream that never came true. And never will.
Never? Well, no, I'm not ready to say that yet.
I just don't want to accept it. What if I decide to spend the WHOLE summer interpreting as if my life depended on it? What if I actually CAN do it, but I don't know yet? People say that if you really want something, you will obtain it. You just have to work hard, and to be honest, I haven't tried as hard as I know I could have.
Nothing is lost yet, I guess. I'm going to talk to my teacher, see what she tells me and I will let you guys know.
At least, today I have a ballet class that will help me cheer up.